Oops, I did it again….

Last week was a very very bad week for me.  So much so that it feels like it didn’t even happen.  So in my mind Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away – not one week away like it seems stuck in my head. So I will have from 20-30 people and have done zilch so far. But no, I’m not worried. I dealt with that sometime ago when I decided to “embrace the chaos”.

So it was soooo bad I thought I was having a nervous breakdown because I really couldn’t function. Everyone close to me who could see- my hubby and sister- were pretty concerned.  And then I was like “what the f- brain?” and I finally figured it out.

So I take alot of supplements, like alot!  It helps me stay well, I hardly even get a cold and when I do it’s super nothing like vague tiredness and a sneeze or two- so that batch takes up a whole drawer of my nightside table alone with my meds.

I usually never throw a bottle away until it’s replaced – but this time I went to the computer, ordered my branded antidepressant because the generic didn’t work for me and then spaced out…..

So I have no idea how long I was without my antidepressant.  The day I figured it out was the day of my granddaughter’s 2nd birthday party and I was doing my darnest to try to focus on how happy I would be to see her and her little brother.  It was a challenge and then ah hah!  I checked my medication cassette and realized my mistake!  I was so grateful to realize there was an explanation that I immediately felt better and took one of my generics and felt better in an hour – not well but much much better.

So, when my patients sheepishly think I will yell at them because they forgot or stopped their meds- I don’t and won’t. We all make mistakes.  My husband  and sister both say they will ask me next time they see me that “crazy”.  For a week,  I did whatever I needed to and went to bed, I slept hours and hours and could hardly function. It was incredibly painful, but especially frightening.

So, who cares about the turkey.  I have so much to be grateful for.  I’m so grateful for this little pill that helps me live my life and feel good much of the time. What a freakin miracle! I’m so grateful I’m alive in this time when such a little miracle is available to me.

And when patients tell me about hating their medication? Not wanting to be on one?  Well, that’s their choice.  Me, I am no fan of suffering. F- ck suffering people!  This life is hard enough!  No one gives you a purple star for being a hero and suffering!  It’s your own f-in choice and nobody else’s business but the ones you trust. Find the meds that work for you! And if your own prescriber won’t help you, find someone who will.

 

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