Family dysfunction; healing

I guess the thing about family is that they never stop giving – both good and bad.  Just when you thought you had figured something out or gotten to a place of love and forgiveness, something new and seemingly unforgiveable occurs.  And you’re right back to that place of hurt and darkness you’ve occupied before.  The thought of being with them makes your stomach turn, and everything is murky again.  The future of living with this situation once again feels intolerable.  What do you do?

  1.  Cry – no really, you’re entitled to grieve and be sad.  Don’t hold back, let it go.  Hanging on to it makes you feel it’s weight.  Tears help let it go, so let them flow.
  2.  Talk with a good friend or a therapist.  It’s very helpful to let those words go.  Either a close friend or your therapist will know what to say and won’t judge you.  Suddenly letting those thoughts fly, even the horrid ones, when they are accepted and validated by someone else, something happens.  You feel less alone, and it’s important not to suffer in silence.  Being with others who understand is uplifting and helps you feel like you can handle it with their love and support.
  3. Breathe.  Recall other seeming unsurmountable events that have happened in your life.  Remember how hard those were and how you handled them and got through them and were better because you had survived those difficult situations.  Remind yourself of how strong you have been because you’re even stronger now.  You got through that.  You can get through this.
  4. Thanks.  Make sure to acknowledge those people who helped you get through it.  It confirms your support and your connection to others, which helps us feel our place in this world which can get alienating, and it helps others knowing how helpful they have been.  Thank them.  It’s good for them and for you.
Family dysfunction; healing

5 thoughts on “Family dysfunction; healing

  1. David Schwebke says:

    Hi, Rhonda,   Sounds like you may be getting through that stressful situation all right. Hoping the best for you. Take care till I see you in December.    David


  2. Mary H. says:

    I owe you a thank you Rhonda! You are helping me get through a rough time in my life, & I appreciate how kind & patient you’ve been with me, not to mention knowledgeable about what I need! Thanks again 🙂


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